September 21, 2004

• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I just typed a really long post and accidentally deleted it. I mean like really long. *tear*

  I shall begin again.

  I hope my last post didn’t make Utahans sound like fake empty nice people. (After all, I happen to have taken a fancy to a particular Utahan) They are not insincere in their happiness, I am just not used to so many people whose lifestyles make them happy in one place.

  Sure enough Friday quickly became happy again. Adam, Sally, Lisa, and I went to the Death Cab for Cutie concert at the University of Utah. That was a lot of fun. We met up with a lot of BYU kids there.

  It was really strange, though, to smell cigarette smoke for the first time in weeks at the U of U. I smelled beer for the first time in a month. I am not exaggerating by much to say that for the first time in 3 weeks I saw a girl’s shoulder (er, many shoulders), a tattoo, strange piercings, overly expressive hairstyles, etc. etc.

  Now I know that I saw all these things and more in my former life at Stevenson. I have seen and smelled much worse over the course of my life (if you thought I was sheltered, you are wrong). But in just those few weeks I have completely forgotten the smells, sights, sounds, and feeling of life outside the bubble. I did not expect that. You should have seen me. I was like, “woah, those are greek letters above that house. And on that t-shirt. And on that car.” and “hey that’s cool, I wonder why she painted a dragon on her back . . . Oh my gosh that’s her back!!!” It was amusing. (and no, I did not say those things out loud. I just thought them)

  While it was refreshing to remember that there are people in the world who live differently than I live, I am grateful for the honor code. Though I would never raise a family in Utah, I love living in the happy bubble. I know that many of you think that it would be better for me to live outside the bubble. I have done that. I spent nearly 18 years living in the world. Now for a small amount of time I want to be here- here, where I have never been happier. I am freer to be and express my true self here. Home I was always “the Mormon.” Now there are so many Latter-day Saints that I cannot just be “the Mormon,” and so I am something more. I am myself. People are learning- I am learning- who I actually am.

  I love living, learning, and being on dedicated ground- a place set apart and above the world for special purposes- for learning with the spirit. (Besides, the girls are much hotter at BYU than at U of U)

  Having said that know that it’s not all Churchy and Preachy here. We don’t just go to Church and play Mormon games all the time. We do normal things. We play pranks on each other. We listen to loud music. We live real lives, secular lives. But there is within everything an ambiance of reverence that I would not trade for anything in the world.

  After the concert we went to Lisa’s parent’s house and watched “What About Bob” ’til early hours the next morning. “What About Bob” is a very funny movie; I was much entertained. Speaking of such things, I intended to make a protected post to supplement this one about my date status, but then I had to rewrite this one. Perhaps if I find more time I will make such a protected post. Perhaps.

  Anyway, Saturday I woke up at 11:30, and only then because I had a ton of homework to do. I proceeded to work on homework nonstop from wake up to when Julie picked me up at 6. We walked to Jerry’s with some friends where we ate dinner and then went to the game. We had really good seats. I don’t want to talk about the rest of it. It was a tragedy, however much expected.

  Sunday was filled with Church meetings. I gave an uber cool spiritual thought at Ward prayer.

  Today I had breakfast with my English class (er, the few that showed up), and then worked on homework and laundry all day. FHE was lame, but I got to chat with Lisa and Kaylyn. And now that I have finally finished my many assignments, sent some e-mails, talked to my brother, written the same post twice, and yelled at the people down the hall for playing really really loud obnoxious chick songs like Brittany Spears, I am going to go to bed. Perhaps.

  • 1:12 am
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