February 26, 2004

• I am in the best mood because I just had a really good experience. I didn’t have anything to do 8th hour, and I couldn’t find Heather, so I sat at the Swimmer’s table in the commons. Mr. Conneen stoped by and we talked about the Passion, and then Tristan asked me what my opinion was on Gay Marriage. Since I’d been in an itchy soapbox mood on topics like that all week, I asked if he was really sure he was asking me that. He would have withdrawn his question except that the whole table now was really curious and made me continue.

  The conversation spiraled from gay marriage to temple marriage (with a few things in between). Everyone was asking me these wonderful questions, and I had so much fun answering them. It became really spiritual. More people started listening. I felt real passion pounding in my chest. This one kid – let’s call him “James” – was really interested in the temple. He wanted to know if I had been there, and I told him that in the temple I had the most amazing experiences of my life. He thought that was really cool.

  Then someone said the magic words. “You’re just Mormon because your parents taught you to be Mormon. If your parents were Jewish, don’t you think you’d be Jewish?”

  To that I could bear my testimony. I told him that my mom joined the Church as a teen against some of her family’s wishes. I said that I believe I would have made the same choice when I learned about the Church. I had previously explained the Book of Mormon to them, and so I was able to now tell them about my experience with it. I said that I was an independent teenager, and that I wouldn’t just be content believing my parents. I told them how I had instead investigated the Church thouroghly and read the Book of Mormon. The table became silent, and they all watched my intently except for two that had left the conversation. I had that wonderful feeling in my heart, the Spirit. The bell rang then, but they stayed to listen to me finish. I pulled out a spare copy of the Book of Mormon and read outloud Moroni 10:4-5.

  I told them that thats what I did, that I read the book, speant countless hours pondering it, and then prayed. I showed them how I folded my arms, explaining that as I said, “Dear Heavenly Father” I was swept with this intense, amazing emotion; I told them that it was so strong that even just talking about that experience made me feel that powerful exstasy. “James” said, “You’re right, I really do feel it now.”

  I could barely keep still. I told him that from that feeling inside I knew that the Book and the Church were true, and that if my parents today said they were leaving the Church, I would stay because I believed in the Church independently.

  I asked them if anyone wanted to keep the Book of Mormon, and no one did. I really wanted “James” to have it, and he seemed like he was interested in it. It’s ok that he didn’t, though, because someone on my bus was interested in Joseph Smith, and so I gave it to him.

  I guess what made this experience particullarly amazing was the event that foreshadowed it on Sunday. Sunday the missionaries came to my class and we enacted a missionary discussion. I pretended to be an investigator. I was kind of just playing along, doing my thing. Then Elder Jones asked me to pay attention to the feelings inside me as he quoted Joseph Smith. As soon as he started reciting, I felt a power so strong come over me I wanted to fall to my knees and praise God. (But I resisted and just sat there crying instead). The peace and warmth caught me completely off guard because I thought we were just pretending. Our class learned there that investigators will notice the Spirit if you point it out to them. The Elders told us to always acknowledge the Its presense. Well, I guess “James” noticed, and I told him exactly what the feeling was, and what it meant.

  I have been on cloud nine ever since that experience because I know in my heart that the Spirit is true, and that what it makes me feel is right and good. It is the most wonderful sensation in the world. I love how I thought I knew passion.

  You think that you know what good feels like. You think that going to Church and listening to a really powerful scripture is good. You think that listening to Aerosmith is good. You think that winning a debate is good. You think that your first kiss is good. But then you read the Book of Mormon. Then you pray about it. Then suddenly you don’t know what good is because the feeling that sweeps over you is so real and so exciting all other good things pale in comparison. And then that feeling comes back in little doses when you talk about it, or when spiritual things trigger it. It amazes me every time.

  I guess that’s all I can say. If you haven’t read it, you can’t really know what I mean.

  • 5:35 pm
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