Month: June 2008

  • The Rapturous Vision of a Raptor

    I was just at the JFSB chilling with my friend in the courtyard when I saw one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.  I was lying on the edge of the fountain, enjoying the cooler night air and trying to relax watching satellites.  All of a sudden I noticed something in the sky moving, almost like a ripple.  It was a large dark shape, like a glider, with small flecks of light like stars all on its underside.  It was an owl- a beautiful, humongous owl.  I couldn’t believe how big it was or how silently it soared across the JFSB courtyard.  Over the course of the hour this owl, or perhaps several owls, passed over the courtyard 5 times.  It was just amazing.  It was so high up, yet I am certain its wingspan was much larger than my arm span.  It was beauty in a terrifying, chilling way.  Owls truly are magnificent birds of prey.  Tonight this one captured my respect and fascination.

  • What Will it Take?

    Haven’t You Learned the Lesson Yet?


    Stuart Matis
    (1967-2000)

      
    Clay Whitmer (left)
    (1965-2000)


    D.J. Thompson
    (1967-2000)

    How Many More Must Suffer?

    ???

    (???-2008)

  • No Reason

    All of us believe
    That this is not up to you
    The fact of the matter is
    That it’s up to me

    Hey, Hey, Hey
    Hey, Hey, Hey
    Let’s Go

    How can we fake this anymore (anymore)
    Turn our backs away, and choose to just ignore (choose to just ignore)
    (Some say) Some say it’s ignorance
    It makes me feel some innocence
    (Some say) It takes away a part of me
    But I won’t let go

    Tell me why can’t you see, it’s not the way (not the way)
    When we all fall down, it will be too late
    Why is there no reason we can’t change (no reason)
    When we all fall down, who will take the blame
    What will it take

    Nothing could ever be this real (be this real)
    A life unsatisfied that I could never feel (I could never feel)
    (Some say) This future’s not so bright
    Some can’t make the sacrifice
    (Some say) It’s much more than just black and white
    And I won’t follow

    Tell me why can’t you see, it’s not the way (not the way)
    When we all fall down, it will be too late
    Why is there no reason we can’t change (no reason)
    When we all fall down, who will take the blame
    What will it take

    Times like these I’ve come to see how,
    Everything but time is running out

    Hey, Hey, Hey
    Hey, Hey, Hey
    What

    All of us believe in what we need
    What we have’s what we don’t see

    Tell me why can’t you see, it’s not the way (not the way)
    When we all fall down, it will be too late
    Why is there no reason we can’t change (no reason)
    When we all fall down, who will take the blame
    What will it take

    Tell me why can’t you see, it’s not the way (not the way)
    (so how long, has this gone on, i don’t see this ending)
    When we all fall down, it will be too late
    (it’s too late, we can’t change, what has now begun)
    Why is there no reason we can’t change (no reason)
    (we act like, its not right, why are we pretending)
    When we all fall down, who will take the blame
    (we’ve been wrong, for so long)
    What will it take
    (WE’VE KNOWN THIS ALL ALONG)

  • And What Can I Do?

    Meadowlark, as sung by Liz Callaway

    When I was a girl, I had a favorite story

    Of the meadowlark who lived where the rivers wind

    Her voice could match the angels’ in its glory,

    But she was blind,

    The lark was blind.



    An old king came and took her to his palace,

    Where the walls were burnished bronze and golden braid,

    And he fed her fruit and nuts from an ivory chalice and he prayed



    “Sing for me, my meadowlark

    Sing for me of the silver morning.

    Set me free, my meadowlark

    And I’ll buy you a priceless jewel,

    And cloth of brocade and crewel,

    And I’ll love you for life if you will

    Sing for me.”



    Then one day as the lark sang by the water

    The god of the sun heard her in his flight

    And her singing moved him so, he came and brought her

    The gift of sight,

    He gave her sight.

    And she opened her eyes to the shimmer and the splendour

    Of this beautiful young god, so proud and strong

    And he called to the lark in a voice both rough and tender,

    “Come along,



    Fly with me, my meadowlark,

    Fly with me on the silver morning.

    Past the sea where the dolphins bark,

    We will dance on the coral beaches,

    Make a feast of the plums and peaches,

    Just as far as your vision reaches,

    Fly with me.”



    But the meadowlark said no,

    For the old king loved her so,

    She couldn’t bear to wound his pride.

    So the sun god flew away and when the king came down that day,

    He found his meadowlark had died.

    Every time I heard that part I cried.



    And now I stand here, starry-eyed and stormy.

    Oh, just when I thought my heart was finally numb,

    A beautiful young man appears before me

    Singing “Come    ! Oh, won’t you come?”

    And what can I do if finally for the first time

    The one I’m burning for returns the glow?

    If love has come at last it’s picked the worst time

    Still I know

    I’ve got to go.



    Fly away, meadowlark.

    Fly away in the silver morning.

    If I stay, I’ll grow to curse the dark,

    So it’s off where the days won’t bind me.

    I know I leave wounds behind me,

    But I won’t let tomorrow find me

    Back this way.



    Before my past once again can blind me,

    Fly away.



    And we won’t wait to say goodbye,

    My beautiful young man and I.


    As a kid my dad used to play this Liz Callaway CD (you might know her as the singing voice of Anastasia).  She went to his high school, and he likes to listen to Broadway songs.  Meadowlark was by far my favorite song on the CD.  It’s such a beautiful song.

    As a kid I used to think that the meadowlark’s story was a tragedy warning against wrath and pride and glorifying the sacrifice of loyalty.  I thought that sun god punished the lark for her loyalty to the king by killing her when she refused to fly away with him.  It was tragic, but at least the lark had done the right thing.

    As an adult revisiting the song, I have realized that I had the meaning completely wrong.  The lark made the wrong decision, and the woman singing the song learned from the mistake.  The god doesn’t kill the lark, rather the lark dies because she chooses to stay.  The god knew that she needed the freedom of leaving the nest, but because the lark was afraid of leaving the king behind, she chose to remain in captivity to please the king, singing on his behalf.  That is the tragedy!  She could have left her comfortable palace cage and instead of singing for him she could have flown for herself.  The lark represents the singer, who knows that she must leave behind her old, captive life to follow her love.  She knows that she’ll leave wounds behind, but she has to fly away with the one who gave her sight, which I interpret as the capacity to love.

    Isn’t that a great song?!  I just wanted to share the thoughts I was having as I listened to that song and decided to post it up here.

  • Meadowlark

  • Do You Really Know What You’re Asking of Me?

    Spineless, by Alanis Morissette

    I won’t see my dear friends as much

    Male friends especially, I’ll no longer be in touch

    I’ll change my hobbies to match yours

    I’ll stop reading my favorite books

    I won’t spend all this selfish time alone

    I’ll cater to you and hang on your every word



    I’ll be subservient and spineless

    I’ll lick your boots as empty shells

    I’ll be opinion-less and silent

    I’ll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself



    I’ll redefine self-sacrifice

    Live my life as apologetic compromise

    I know you’d leave if I rock the boat



    I’ll be subservient and spineless

    I’ll lick your boots as empty shells

    I’ll be opinion less and silent

    I’ll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself



    I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency

    I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won’t forget myself so easily



    I’ll be low maintenance and agreeable

    I will not talk about my dreams so much

    I’ll listen to you for hours, won’t need anything



    I’ll be subservient and spineless

    I’ll lick your boots as empty shells

    I’ll be opinion-less and silent

    I’ll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself



    I’ll be subservient and spineless

    I’ll lick your boots as empty shells

    I’ll be opinion less and silent

    I’ll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself



    I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency

    I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won’t forget myself so easily