November 17, 2007

  • Just being in the same room.

    ". . . when I see the way that
    mankind loves    – You could search to the furthest reaches of the
    universe and never find anything more beautiful.  So yes, I know that
    love is unconditional.  But I also know that it can be unpredictable,
    unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake
    for loathing, and    – What I'm trying to say, Tristan is– I think I
    love you. Is this love, Tristan?  I never imagined I'd know it for
    myself.  My heart    – It feels like my chest can barely contain it.  Like
    it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more.  It
    belongs to you.  And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange.  No fits.  No goods.  No demonstrations of devotion.  Nothing but knowing
    you loved me too.  Just your heart, in exchange for mine"     (Yvaine, Stardust).

    Oh what a week it has been.  I've been really productive.  I can't believe how quickly thanksgiving is approaching.

    Christmas things are popping up everywhere, and I like it.  Last night I started getting really excited for Christmas.  For the cold and the gloves and the scarves and the breath you can see.  And the lights and the garland and the candles and the stockings and the fireplace and the fuzziness.  And the cinnamon and the nutmeg and the ginger and the cloves and the allspice.  And cranberries.  And vanilla.  And blankets and drafty windows.  And the piano stained a deep warm brown.  And the holly and the pumpkin bread and ginger bread men dipped in milk.  And the cold leather of the comfy chair in front of the TV that sticks to your skin after it warms up.  And The Bishop's Wife.  It's a Wonderful Life.  Nativity scenes.  Temple Square.  Chicago.  Popovers.  With strawberry jam.  Boy scout wreaths and crimson ribbons.  Gold.  Vermillion.  Ochre.  Evergreen.  Hearth.  Pajamas.  This is the season, this year this is the season that is going to be the best season of my life.  Why shouldn't it be?

    And all of that came because a friend started humming a Christmas carol while we were on our way to walmart.

    !

    We saw Stardust last night at the dollar theater.  It was a great movie!  The personifcation of the stars made me think of J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan (the book he wrote– my favorite book right now).  The movie was witty too, and subtle yet obvious in its message.  And the acting was convincing.  And the effects were great.  And the plot was sophisticated for a fantasy movie.  It was all great.  And then we drank vanilla steamers and hot chocolate and in the morning I made french toast out of old french bread and strawberry smoothies.  I should shower.  Hope that you are all doing ok.  I am excited to see you all next week.  Maybe you will catch me when I light up and then you will know how I'm doing.

    "I'm so alive.  I'm so enlightened.  I can barely survive a night in my mind.  I've got a plan.  I'm gonna find out just how boring I am and have a good time.  Cause ever since I tried trying not to find every little meaning in my life, It's been fine.  I've been cool with my new golden rule" (John Mayer).

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