June 1, 2005

  • "Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption. Winding in and winding out, the shine of it has caught my eye, and roped me in. So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing, I am captivated. I am vindicated. . ."

    (Click to see the new skin and tagline on my site.) Pardon the dramatic emoness of the past 5 or 6 posts. I was really discouraged about some things, but I feel much more confident now. I think that I was afraid to trust. I put in my papers yesterday, and suddenly feel so different. Empowered. I don't feel like anything is hanging over my head anymore.

    Part of this renewed enthusiasm comes from a renewed interest in the things that have always been such a strength to me. Things that only recently I have neglected at a cost to stability in my life. Take for example the Book of Mormon. I've read it so often, and just . . . Well I guess I got proud and thought that I knew everything about it already. But in reading it again. Gall, in holding it again. I swear just flipping through its pages releases power. Power to overcome. Power to feel confident. Power to be happy. Power to be who I want to be.

    It is just words, yes. Just black words on white paper. But somehow from black and white come a full spectrum of color; of capacity and allure. The strength of its words is remarkable and inspiring.

    I can't wait for my call to come now. I feel fears subsiding. Collin got his last Friday. Croatia and Slovania. Two tiny countries squeezed between Italy and Hungry. He will learn and speak Slavic. Wow. Do you even know anyone who speaks Slavic? What does Slavic sound like? He will be one of 24 missionaries serving these people. Did I mention Weggs also got his call. Two weeks ago he was called to San Bernardino California, Spanish speaking. He leaves August 17th, Collin the 24th.

    In other news, I had a really great night last night. Megan and I were bored so we went and got coffee-free drinks at Caribou Coffee and then we rented Spanglish. We brought it back to my house with kettle corn and gummy bears. Collin met us there and we talked for a long time. I think the movie ended some time after 1, at which point I took Megan home. It was so much fun. It isn't often I can just bring friends home to my house in peace and just chat and enjoy ourselves. Thank goodness for school-night bedtime.

    "I am vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself . . . like hope." (Dashboard Confessional).

Comments (5)

  • okay dan, seriously you are sickly obsessed with xanga. it scares me. i am worried for you. lol dan..this is not healthy. you are addicted to xanga.

  • Ok, while your comment may be true, I don't see what it has to do with the post or why it comes after I've slowed down with the xanga life. I haven't checked my xanga in the past 2 or 3 days, and I've only posted 5 times in the past 14 days or so. Cut me some slack here. If you were just refering to the new skin, is it wrong to take up HTML coding as a hobby? Maybe we could solve this problem by hanging out together and therefore giving me less time to devote to xanga. :)

  • sweet talitos. you will make a very, very wonderful missionary. =)
    -Ailinh

  • but youve made about 500 changes to your site...which indeed says "addiction" all over it

  • im glad we have come to an agreement

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