Month: April 2005

  • "I've got nothing left to say, just take me away. Don't give up on me yet. Don't forget who I am. I know I'm not there yet, but don't let me stay here alone" (Lifehouse, Take Me Away).

    It was the strangest weather today ever. Just now I looked out the window. It was sunny and cloudless. So I walked outside to turn in my paper, and it was steadily raining. I looked up, and there was not a cloud above me. It wasn't even windy, so it wasn't blowing off the trees. It was really warm even. It was just raining, but without clouds. I don't get it. I will say that there were some nice effects from the strange sunny rain. There was a the most intense rainbow I've ever seen that stretched across a huge mountain.

    Wow, it feels so good to finally be caught up with all the school work I had to finish by today. Yay. Being done with my work means that I can do things for me. Like relax. Go to a fun Treasure Island Dance. Update my xanga entries. So basically stay tuned for all the posts that I have promised you- they will follow slowly but steadily.

    Edit: Today Mark left for home to spend a few days before he leaves for the MTC in Brazil.  It was surreal.  We really will not be the same without him.  He was a really central figure in our group of friends.  He was a really good friend.  More than just as an organizer of events (though he certainly was the organizer of events- both spontanious and planned), Mark just kind of balanced things out.  He was like the cruel sanity to balance the rest of us.  (if that makes sense.  maybe it didn't).  I will really miss him.  I mean who's going to call me Dandan now?  hmm? sadness.

    Mark leaving was also a reminder of my own leaving.  Though not for maybe 4 months, I will be leaving soon.  It's a scary thought.  What if I come home and find that Mark and Mike and Eric and Josh and Adrien and Lindsay are changed.  What if I change?  Worse yet, what if I don't change?  Adrien and I were talking and we thought about that time in the Morris Center when they ran into me and employed my betraying services (remember the post about me selling my soul?).  That was really the time when I started being friends with them.  If I hadn't been in the Cove at that exact moment, then I would not have been a part of that group and all the fun things we've done since then.  One little event shaped the majority of my freshman year.  Whatever I do tonight, I do it as a result of being in the Cove on a certain day and deciding to betray my neighbors to some girls I barely knew.  Wow.  So what if there is one little change on my mission that reshapes my life.  What if I don't like the way it gets reshaped.  Do I crave change, or fear it?  I don't know.  I think that what I really fear is having to start over.  Having to come home and start all over with the making friends process.  With the dating game.  With everything.  Well, perhaps I will be better equiped at least to do it the way I want.  But still.

    Things to think about.

    "Sometimes time brings us down, washes us with guilt and questions. We'll stand tall, and in the end, we will win. We will fight- forever this time . . ." (The Beautiful Mistake, This is Who You Are)

  • I'm still not done with my school work, so you will have to wait for your xanga entries. While you're waiting, however, please watch the Kaye music video (the link is the picture on the left column). Kaye is my 3rd favorite song, and the music video makes it that much better. I love it. In the video they are searching for a girl to cast as Kaye for their music video. Will they find her? Will they find Kaye, or are they just left with the drawings of this unfound dream girl?

    Kaye, are you even real?

    P.S. Arthur Nix is a Texas Longhorn fan.

  • "So cut the rope, let's give them another chance. They're not the first ones to fake romance. Can't you see apologies bleed from their eyes?"

    Presenting the week's Maglebyisms:

    If you don't remember what Magelbyisms are, revisit this first post. This week Megan and I have again compiled a list of these Maglebyisms for your enjoyment and use:

    Words that have never existed before:

    • "traverteen"

    • "moe-dair-nity" (the way he pronounced this made it a new word)

    • "pre-vale-ent" (the way he pronounced this made it a new word)

    • "cóe-laushj" (the way he pronounced this made it a new word)

    • "fruition" (used over and over. I think it has to do with the word culmination. if it is a real word, it ceraintly is not one to be used over and over)

    • "primitivism" (as in "somewhat abstracted by primitivism)
    Words that have never before been used in that way:
    • artifice (maybe he meant having to do with artifacts?)

    • "of German extraction, but currently functioning in France" (yes he said it again)
    Words (or phrases) that could have been replaced with less syllables:
    • subconcious dream imagery (what dreams are not subconcious?)

    • "contours of space" (?)

    • "mondrion graphic design" (mondrion? surely there is a simpler word)

    • "painterly painting continues" (thank goodness!)

    • "it is viscus, or liquidy- almost watery . . . it ends up looking like watercolor." (why use one word when eleven will do?)

    • "colorizes it in a tequnicolor way" (or you could say it uses bright colors)
    Words that have never been put together that way before (funny phrases):
    • "like flayed face skin"

    • "half effiel tower, half tower of babel" (referring to a Communist Parade float in Russia)

    • "the house was planned on these poles, or pee-la-tay as the french would say" (yeah.)

    • "it's almost like solitary confinement" (referring to a house)

    • "like fresh slaughter in the air" (yum)

    • "they vomit their emotions on the canvas and hold if up for all to see" (yumyum)

    • "she wrapped this canvas, swadled, if you will" (.)

    • "it addressed in a first aid way the hemorrage of painting" (he did not need to desecrate art by descibing something that way).
    Stay tuned for next week's final edition of the Dictionary of Magleby. I have a feeling next week will be the best one yet.
    "Let's go inside, I found the perfect place to hide . . . Listen boy, I can't live like this another day. No one is real. No one feels." ~This Day and Age

  • "I am vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right. I swear I'm right, Swear I knew it all along. And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself, like hope . . ."

    Coming soon:
    • An Account of Monday's Salt Lake Adventure
    • This Week's Maglebyisms
    • A Soapbox on Judicial Activism vs. Judicial Review
    • Some thoughts on today, the 175th Anniversary of the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (to be posted on Truth_Is_Reason)
    Note that these things are only coming soon provided I finish my homework soon.  School must take precedence after all.
    ". . . hope, dangles on a string, Like slow spinning redemption" (Dashboard Confessional).

  • "I can see your outstreched arms. I just found who I am" (This Day and Age).

    I had an amazing Monday afternoon-evening-night. Megan and I hopped on the 817 to Sandy and then caught a trax to Salt Lake City to go to the This Day and Age concert at Kilby Court. I don't really think we knew what to expect. In fact, it was somewhat a last minute dicision to go, though it was thouroughly planed (thanks so much Megan). We got off at the Courthouse by the Grand American hotel in a nice part of town and started walking to find Kilby Court. I'm not sure when we noticed it, but at some point we left the nicer part of the city. Now, because it's Salt Lake City we were still safe, but still. It was weird. Dogs were running around everywhere. That's probably why there were signs up for a missing dog (black lab named Teesha). It is also how we found kilby court. This dog started chasing us, and its owner was not far behind him. We asked the owner where Kilby Court was and he gave us a strange look and said, it's the alley behind you. Sure enough, it was the alley behind us. We had been looking for some sort of night club or something, but no, it was just an alley. With a small little shed covered in stickers where bands play.

    After that we made the long trek back to the trax, which we rode to Temple Square. We decided to go tour the Conference Center to see all the paintings. I tell you, it was amazing to see so many Walter Rane originals. The prints just don't do them justice. In life they are so vibrant with light and color that you can't see in prints. I wish I could have spent more time there. Going through the roof was really cool too. There's more symbolism than you would think. It is a remarkable building.

    From there we rushed off on the trax again to get to Kilby Court.  It was raining again so I pulled out the umbrella until we got in the getto part of Salt Lake where I stowed the umbrella in a poser attempt to look cool.  As I told Megan, I had never felt so Mormon.  And, apparently we rushed slightly too much because we were the first ones there, which again emphasized our, as Professer Magelby might say, "naive shelterousity, a sense of wanna-be-ness, or even a feeling of wanting to fit in and trying so hard to do so but not really being able to do so because of a sheltered naiveosity." (sorry, I can't help it.  I just love mimicking the way Professor Magelby talks.  It's so funny.)

    Being there early in many ways was a good things though.  It let us have a nice conversation with Jeff, lead singer of This Day and Age.  We got our picture taken with him, and even got him to autograph a t-shirt for me.  It was pretty sweet.  The sad thing was, though, that maybe 15 people showed up for the show.  Granted, it was a Monday Night in Salt Lake City at an obscure venue, but still. He said that it was probably his smalled audience yet, but that it was ok because they had been having a sucessful tour.  I can't wait to see them with Jupiter Sunrise and June at the Bottom Lounge in Chicago.  It will be such a good show.

    When This Day and Age took the stage I was so excited.  They played amazing music.  I'm telling you, they're going to be big.  The other bands that played sucked.  Anyways.  We started walking back in the hail when we realized we had missed our bus home.  Luckily there was one more bus home.  We called Bert and left a message telling him we'd be an hour later (he didn't get the message), and then we walked to the McDonalds that seemed a lot closer than it was.  We got some food and rode the trax back to the bus station, where we took the 816 back to the mall.  There was a weird guy on the bus.  He was somewhat nosy, extremely lonely.  He thought Megan was my sister, called her Rachel (I was wearing a sweat shirt that said Rachel on it).  It was just strange.  Anyway.  Bert didn't pick us up at the mall (or rather he was there an hour before us not having received our message) so we decided to walk back to campus.  It's a long walk back to campus.  Longer than I imagined.  And parts of the path are not well lit.  Oh well.  We got back to DT an hour or so later after many questions had been asked and answered.  It had been an awesome, super fun day, let me tell you.

    "Finding myself in a place I've never been, where I don't know myself or anyone else. I can dream about the past or I can just let it go, I lost track of time five days ago" (This Day and Age).

  • I stole this game from Lisa. It looks fun.

    1. Put your play list on random.
    2. Pick your favorite lines from the first 25 songs that play.
    3. Post and let people guess what song the line comes from.
    4. Cross out the songs when guessed correctly.
    5. No Googling (none.)
    6. Pass it on.
    (James you're not allowed to play this game)

    1. "No one can find the rewind button boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breathe." Breathe, Anna Nalick (Meg)
    2. "Every page I tried my best to think of something to contest with inside jokes and other folks who have much more to say." Dear Jamie, by Hellogoodbye (my second favorite song!)
    3. "First class and fancy free She's high society." She's So High, Tal Bachman (Lisa)
    4. "Too high, Can't come down. Losin' my head spinnin' round and round." Toxic, Britney Spears (Megan)
    5. "I call out, I call out for change for every moment that remains." Believing, The Calling (Megan)
    6. "So make the best of this test, and don't ask why." Good Riddance, Green Day (Lisa)
    7. "This is fact not fiction for the first time in years." A Lack of Color, by Death Cab for Cutie
    8. "You wouldn't drive without a key. You can't live if you don't bleed." We Always Rewind the Best Part, This Day and Age
    9. "Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say." Homesick at Spacecamp, Fall Out Boy
    10. "Feeling the sunlight beating down us all, I will wait here inside the stolen one in love for all."Stratus, Moments in Grace
    11. "Must've been a beautiful daydream, You didn't come home til three." Sunday Afternoon, Lucky Boy's Confusion (Heather)
    12. "I ripped out his throat and called you on the telephone." Bloody Valentine, Good Charlotte (Heather)
    13. "Step back to see what's goin' on. I can't believe this happened to you." The Hell Song, Sum 41 (Heather)
    14. "I can't live without you, Tell me what I am supposed to do about it." Disease, Matchbox Twenty (Landon)
    15. "Sad, small, sure and porecelian. You're skin and bone . . ." A Decade Under The Influence, Taking Back Sunday (Adrien)
    16. "You've got all these excuses, but you don't have an answer 'cause you don't know yourself." It's Everyone's Fault But Mine, Straylight Run
    17. "To be at one with all your life, And do without doing a thing." Slow Dance, Senses Fail
    18. "Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out?" Welcome to my life, Simple Plan (Heather)
    19. "And I know you can see right through me, So let me go, and you will find someone." Only One, Yellowcard (Megan)
    20. "Come out of things unsaid. Shoot an apple off my head." Clocks, Coldplay (Heather)
    21. "while your story's completed mine is a long way from done." Champagne High, Sister Hazel (Megan)
    22. "And in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all." 3 am, Matchbox Twenty (Lisa)
    23. "I drew a map so we can get home or maybe come back here in the summer, But I'm not sure how to draw a path to get to moonlight." Steal Me, Jupiter Sunrise (Megan)
    24. "And the bright lights turn to night Until the dawn, it brings A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me." You and I Both, Jason Mraz (Lisa)
    25. "You say its chivalry, but its jealousy that led us to this song. Won't play it often, just at least until you're gone." If You C Jordan, Something Corporate (Lisa)

  • So now that we're down to just over 2 weeks left, I thought I'd start preparing you guys for the big end of semester post with all the tears and smiles of goodbye. So here is a sample- a preview, if you will (pictures are in no particular order). . .
    Me, Rachel, Cosmo, and Kaylynn:

    Remember that prank war first semester. Here's a picture from that. That's my roommate (Adam) and Kaylynn. And yes, that is duct tape.

    Halloween:

    Homecoming:

    Um, I'm not sure I have an explanation for this picture which was taken after or before the previous:

    And more homecoming (I'm putting all these up here cause these are the guys on my floor):

    And our beautiful homecoming dates:

    Getting ready for the Arabian Nights skit at spring sing:

    I hope that has whet your appetite for the end of year speach. Tear. The memories . . .

  • Yesterday's post did not go out in the subcription e-mails, read it here.

    Today and Tomorrow is General Conference, when the Prophets speak to the Church. I will be posting my thoughts on conference and what is said here. (click) If you can, listen to or watch a session of General Conference at 10 or 2 Mountain Standard Time (listen online here (lds.org))
    "Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety?  Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me. And moreover, I say unto you that it has thus been revealed unto me, that the words which have been spoken by our fathers are true, even so according to the spirit of prophecy which is in me, which is also by the manifestation of the Spirit of God" (Alma 5:45-47)

  • I had a fun time tonight with Megan. We hopped on a bus and went downtown to partake in Provo's "first friday" thingy. There were 5 galleries that we were going to go to. The first gallery was impossible to find. Supposedly it was a house converted into a gallery, but we just couldn't find it. Somehow we ended up in dangerous back alleys (note sarcasm with the term dangerous). We saw some people walking, thought that maybe they were going to the gallery, and stalked them. We are good stalkers, let me tell you- they never knew we were behind them hiding behind trees and light posts. We should work for the FBI.

    The second gallery we found after crossing a dangerous street (note there is no sarcasm there- we could have died). I found a painting that I really liked because it used transparent layers of paint and allowed the pencil of the drawing underneath to show through. It was of an angel. Perhaps this tecnique is the future movement I've been looking for. Modernism- the abstract- is going way out of style. The academic and classical, however, are old. We need something new. Maybe this will join the contributions of modernism and formalism with the beauty of the acamdemic. Er- not that you care. Anyway, there were chocolate covered strawberries there, and I squirted strawberry redness on my shirt and didn't even know it until I got home that night *blush*

    The third gallery we eventually found by the Tailor Maid Costume shop. Cool stuff. Unfortunately galleries 4 and 5 were not to be found. Funny that we couldn't find them considering downtown Provo is not that big. Oh well. You know something about downtown Provo? All the buildings are called centers. Provo City Center, Utah Valley Conference Center, Provo Center, Provo Art Center- and it's all down Center Street. Strange.

    After touring 2 of the 5 art galleries we went and saw shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" at the Provo Tabernacle. It was really funny. I hadn't seen it before, but I really like it now. It is funny to see the way marriage was viewed back then and how we can apply it now. I'll spare you the soapbox on gender roles, lol.

    Perhaps the craziest part of the date was the bus ride home. Waiting for the bus was strange cause the guy kept staring at us. Granted, he was really just a picture on a billboard, but he was staring right at us. It was unnerving. Creepy even. Someone had vandalized the bus stop too with doomsday messages and strange biblical codes. Oh- and a naked woman too. Weird.

    Anyways, I had a really good time.

    "I wanna know, can you show me? I wanna know about these strangers like me. Tell me more, please show me. Something’s familiar about these strangers like me . . . Can you feel the things I feel right now, with you? Take my hand. There’s a world I need to know. . . I wanna know."

  • I wish I could make the colors look the same on every computer. This light blue is not so light on some computers. Oh well. If it clashes, deal, on the computer I designed it on it looked great.

    Yesterday afternoon was horrible, the night rocked. This morning was horrible, but the evening rocked. This must be the intoxicating cycle of life. Yesterday afternoon I tried to write my paper for physical science, I really tried. I just couldn't do it. It was due at 9 PM when the TA office closes, but I didn't get it done in time. Don't worry, it wasn't that big of a deal because I knew it wasn't going to be picked up by the TA until first thing in the morning, so I decided to forfeit the paper for the time being and take a break.

    So around 9:30 Mike, his sister Corey, Erin, Mark, Dani, Lindsay, Josh, Eric, and I walked to the dollar theater to see National Treasure. We walked because we missed the bus. We also missed the first 10 mins. of the movie, but it was all good- by the end at least. Walking there I felt like there was impending disaster and tension as the snow stung our faces. They have the driest snow here, I hate it. Brian and Addison were already there (they caught the bus). I thought it was a good movie.

    The way home was about 100 times more fun than the way there. I thoroughly enjoyed it. We decided we were hungry, so we stopped at Denny's at 1:00 in the morning (keep in mind the paper that I have to sneak into the TA lab before first thing in the morning). Denny's was really fun, not to mention 5 star quality food (for 1:00 in the morning- or nearly 2 by the time the food actually got to the table). There were some really funny things I wanted to quote, but I have forgotten them. Sad.

    By the time we were back in the dorms (after a snow war between Brian and I) I decided I was fairly tired. I figured I could go to bed for quick nap, so I set my alarm for 5 am. Yet again my free agency was breeched, because I did not choose to turn off that alarm, but somehow I must have done it. Anyway, I woke up at 7, franticly trying to figure out how I was to write a paper and get it to the TA lab before first thing in the morning. I immediately began typing, and had the paper ready by 8:15. I ran to the Eyring Science Center, went to the TA lab, and read the sign that listed the hours. The TA lab opens at 9 am. Apparently 9 AM is first thing in the morning. And, he didn't end up collecting the papers until 2 pm. I was not happy. Anyway- it was just one of those mornings. I was late to figure drawing, I hadn't showered or shaved and so I felt greasy and gross- not to mention the grumpiness of 4 hours of sleep.

    This morning I just was not a happy camper. Anyway then I was talking with Heather after figure drawing, and she was being really motivational (with out knowing it). I decided that I really wanted to be happy- not sad, and I really wanted to be accomplishing things, not being lazy and a slacker. I decided that I was going to produce some art that I liked instead of complaining about the fact that I haven't been producing real art that I like. So I went home and took a shower and shaved and turned myself into a human being. And then I felt kinda good about myself, so I started to sketch a self portrait on some gessoed massonite. I went to Book of Mormon, and to Phy Sci lab. I drank an orange dream machine (with an energy boost) for lunch at Jamba. And then I got to work.

    I started painting on top of the drawing with fairly transparent layers. I went back in with pencil, and then more paint. I am very proud now to have a self portrait that is really cool looking, if I can say so myself. I have produced some art. Granted, it's still a work in progress, but I feel much better having finished quality work. I guess I just needed to draw/paint something I really love . Anyway, there is some cool symbolism behind the work, which I may explain after I get a picture of the painting up here for your judgment. So I had a nice afternoon because I decided to be productive and happy. That's all it took, a decision. The end.

    "after all the crushes have faded, and all my wishful thinking was wrong, I'm jaded- I hate it. I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here" (John Mayer).