What a fun weekend! Friday night I went and saw "Be Cool" with Brian, Mike, John, Josh, Eric, and Eric's brother/sister in-law. It was a lot of fun even though it was not my kind of movie. (I still don't recommend the movie)

Saturday I went to Betos with Josh to get some off-campus food (YES!). I love Betos Breakfast Burritos! Then we bought the last tickets to Men's Chorus. Played some Zelda, and then we all went to see Mike in the Men's Chorus concert. The concert was really good. After the concert we bummed around.

There was something I wanted to say. I forgot. Sorry.

What is it about dorm life that makes everyone so lonely? How can you always be around people, yet feel so alone? How can your room be filled with friends who care about you while at the same time you feel so friendless?

I'm not upset right now or anything. In fact, I feel really good. I've started working out with Josh, and the excerise is really upping my mood. But I was just making an observation a few moments ago and remembering things that I've felt before. I think dorm life- college life- can be a very lonely time. Sometimes its hard to recognize the care of friends. I wish that I knew how to help a friend out better when he is down.

March 2, 2005 3:40 pm

So today I am Elder E*****. That's right. I am serving in the Hungary,
Budapest mission, English speaking. Of course this is just pretend, and only
lasts for two days, but still. From 9:00 last night to 9:00 tomorrow night, I
will be obeying all of the mission rules. That means I wake up at 7 and go to
bed by 11. It means I study the scriptures for a half hour by myself, and for a
half hour with my companion. It means I stay with members of the same sex
always and limit physical contact with members of the opposite sex to no more
than a handshake. (That is hard, because it also means I wear the uniform -a
suit- which means I am super good looking) It means I refrain from TV, movies,
and computer or video games. It means I only listen to "Christ-centered" music.
It means no Internet surfing- or xanga.

How then, am I writing this xanga entry? I am allowed to e-mail, and so in
keeping with mission rules I am using xanga premium to e-mail this post and have
it magically appear on my site without once using safari (or Internet explorer).
I hope it works, because this may very well be how I update xanga on my real
mission. Unfortunately, it means I don't leave comments on other sites, but I
can still receive xanga subscription e-mails (to my knowledge). All of this
assuming I am serving in a country with internet capabilities.

And now for the point of this post . . .
What Missionary Life is Like . . .
As a missionary, or at least as a pretend missionary, it seems like there are 5
things that we do.

1. Lots of personal and companionship study. They want you to study the gospel
on a personal and intimate level. This means knowing the scriptures really
well.

2. Meetings. Zone meetings, Church meetings, all kinds of meetings.

3. Appointments. The time that in a normal mission would be dedicated to making
and attending appointments with investigators and members is spent on our
pretend mission in class (I can't just drop out of school for two days . . . er)

4. Service. Tomorrow there is a big service project. Service is a big part of
a mission.

5. Tracting. Today we go "tracting" door to door during visiting hours. I am
told that in most countries, though, tracting isn't nearly as important or as
successful as "street sighting," where the missionaries either literally stand
up on a soap box and start preaching and/or asking for people who want to learn
the gospel or when the missionaries go to, say, a train station or busy street
and just ask passerbys if they are interested in learning about the gospel.
This is where you make a lot of the appointments.

So what do I think about all this. You know, I signed up for missionary week
because I wanted to get a feel for what a mission was like. Granted, I don't
think this is even close to what a mission really is like, but it is comprised
of the same rules, and so it does give you an idea.

I have probably had more doubts, perhaps the better word is fears, about serving
a mission in the past two months then the rest my life put together. I think
that's natural. (the fears/doubts are about me personally leaving to serve a
mission, they are not about the Church itself or its truth) When it comes down
to it, though, I still want to serve a mission. I don't feel that way because
it is expected of me and to not serve would be to not escape humiliation or
persecution as I once thought (for one thing, now that I've moved out of my
home, I don't think that not serving would be met with that response). I also
don't feel that way because I think a mission will be the perfect experience and
the culmination of all that I love as I once thought (for one thing, I don't
think a mission will provide that perfect experience with no suffering or bad
things- I think there will be lots of suffering and lots of bad things that
happen). And, finally, I also don't feel that way because I want to fulfill
God's commandments as I once thought. (let's be honest, there are plenty of
times when I have sinned. I love God, and want to keep His commandments, but
serving a mission because God said to is not necessarily the reason why I am
going to serve a mission).

I want to serve a mission because I have something that makes me happy, and I
have recently become intimately aware that there are so many unhappy people in
this world. To me, my mission will be an opportunity to offer all of those
unhappy people this precious something that has brought me so much joy. That
precious something is the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the truth that comes from
the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It would be my
honor to share the joy I get from the Church and testify of that Gospel,
standing as a witness of the Savior Jesus Christ. So with that I leave you that
witness in His holy name. Amen.