I just finished reading Orson Scott Card's "Lost Boys," and give it 4 and half stars. You should all read it. The beginning was so refreshing because it seemed so light. The first 350 pages are so true to life that it's hilarious and beautiful and ever so simple- its just the normal every day challenges of life (I laughed so hard). Then all of a sudden you realize all is not as it seems and everything turns upside down and you get really really scared (kinda sixth sense style) and it is so unexpected it makes you mad. But then you go back, and you realize that the ending was basically told in the first two pages, and the 350 pages after those first two were just to make you forget it. It's genius. And the characters . . . the main characters are so real you love them because they're so perfect, except they're so flawed that you get mad at them, and that's what makes them so real.

I want to tell you more about the book, but I already gave away too much.

(Sunday Edit) My speech went well. It went something like this:

I am excited today to talk about the most important event in history as we know it. I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect on what this event, this concept, can do for each of us as individuals. I speak today of the atonement of Jesus Christ.

The other day I was pondering the profound truths of the articles of faith. Of the thirteen, the second article of faith has always struck me as the least profound until this past week when I all of a sudden realized what a difference such a statement makes in our understanding of the atonement.

“We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression” (A of F 2).

We are the offspring of God, and as such are born good. And if we are not born with original sin, and are instead born innocent and accountable only for our own actions, as the second article of faith suggest, then the atonement functions not just to reconcile the sin of Adam, but to reconcile the sins of each of us individually.

Christ did not suffer to overcome the sin of one man, rather he suffered to overcome the sins of all those who will repent in his name. “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10)” The worth of each soul, is great. My thoughts are turned to one of the most beautiful scenes in the scriptures where the Great God of the Universe meets with Enoch at the top of a mountain. There the Lord shows Enoch a great and glorious vision that includes many wicked people, referred to as the residue of the people. Reading from Moses chapter 7,
“And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains? . . .

“How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity? . . .

“how is it thou canst weep? The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency; And unto thy brethren have I said . . . that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood; . . .

“Behold, I am God; . . . And That which I have chosen hath pled before my face. Wherefore, he suffereth for their sins; inasmuch as they will repent in the day that my Chosen shall return unto me, and until that day they shall be in torment; Wherefore, for this shall the heavens weep, yea, and all the workmanship of mine hands" (Moses 7:28-40)

Every time I read this account from the Pearl of Great Price I learn more about the character and nature of God than I ever thought I could know. When I read this scene yesterday, I was struck by those last words: “That which I have chosen hath pled before my face. Wherefore, he suffereth for their sins; inasmuch as they will repent . . .”

This is the atonement.

God created each one of us, and it pains Him so much to see us torment ourselves with our own sins that He sent his chosen one, His beloved Son, to suffer for each of us. If our sins cause the heavens to weep, imagine what happens when we repent, applying the atonement to ourselves individually. Again in D&C 18:10-13:

“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him. And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance. And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”

I believe that there is a God in heaven. He is real. I believe that He is deeply aware of us individually. I believe that He weeps over our failures. I believe that He smiles at our triumphs and pats us on the back. I have felt the encircling arms of His embrace, and I have witnessed His sustaining hand in my life.

I testify that it is this same eternal love that makes the atonement possible. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
Let there be no doubt in your minds that there is an atonement, and that this atonement was wrought by Jesus Christ, the only begotten in the flesh. Of Christ it was written,

“He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:3-5)

It is my testimony that the atonement of Jesus Christ is a vibrant reality. Knowing that Jesus suffered all pains helps me to endure the daily challenges of life. Search the scriptures so that you can understand what the atonement can do for you. Know that its power is personal and individual, and that you have decide to let it into your life. I testify that the atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible for all men to be resurrected, and for all sin to be wiped clean as we repent. This I do in the name of Jesus Christ, my personal Savior; Amen.

(Edit: Don't forget to come hear me speak in Church this Sunday!!!!)

I'm mad that it was not cold enough today. lol. (maybe it's cause it's Friday the 13th.)

Yesterday I went to Heather's to say goodbye. Before that I took my sister shopping cause we each needed a pair of jeans. I have a new found respect for her (and for most women in general for that matter). It took us 3 hours to find one pair for her. Whereas I bought the third pair I picked out at American Eagle. With Karen it either fit her and was cut horrible or else didn't fit her but was cut nice or else was cut nice and was the wrong color etc. etc.

I discovered a couple of things. Like how there's no such thing as regular rise jeans for girls. I'm serious. There's low rise, extra low rise, and extreme low rise. (some stores carry super low rise). American Eagle had one style that was "modest" (stretching the word). There were two color selections (both ugly) and they looked like tom boy pants.

So we went to Hollister. Two of the people working at hollister were LDS (well kinda, one is not anymore, but her brother is Adam- the one who just left on his mission the same day as Jeff). Anyway, I thought that if I asked them where to find modest jeans they could tell me. One looked at me sadly, and the other just laughed.

At Gap the service was hideously horible, and there was not a good selection in jeans.

Express surprised me. They had like 3,000 pairs of jeans, and I think my sister tried on half of them. They were very helpful, and so after shopping for 3 hours the people at Express found us the one pair that fit both Karen's body and her standards.

But anyway, it was a great bonding experience, and she and I had a good time (No, Heather, you do not need to pity her because I was not unbearable, in fact she wants to do it again).

13 Days.

It's been a good week. Tuesday I got off work and hung out with Heather (different Heather than the previous post) and said goodbye to Megan. Wednesday I went to walker brothers with some friends (see picture below) and again got off work completely. Today I got off work completely (this weather is heaven-sent), bought some stuff for school including a humungous suitcase, and tonight I will say goodbye to Heather.

Since I had so much fun thinking in the last entry, I decided to try it again. I have a little thought (more of a complaint or a rant) that is not nearly as cool as the last entry, but I will utter it anyway:

I hate it when people think they know me but really don't. For example. Some people think that I have no existance outside of my church. I am not Dan, I am The Mormon. This bugs me because I've noticed some people almost limit my personality with assumptions. Granted, I've had stages in which I became very engrossed in the Church, but this is not one of those times. So it frustrates me when people don't let me finish a thought or say something or tell me something because they assume I will act a certain way. *end of rant*

So I was talking to Heather (don't get confused, I know too many Heathers) and she introduced me to some art by the talented Jory Dayne. It got me thinking, and as we all know that is dangerous.

I think inside every artist there are these two inner forces at work- the sensual and the spiritual. I'm not sure that sensual is the right word- maybe carnal is better, but for now I'll stick with sensual. Creating art is a very sensual thing. It is about beauty, often raw. It is life, it is nature, it is expression, it is pleasure of the senses. Artists are drawn to it. But creating art is also a very spiritual thing. It is holy, sacred, personal. It is an expression of spirit, communication on a higher plane, and joy to the soul.

Sensual. Spiritual.
Pleasure. Joy.

Though they sound similar, they are most definatley different, distinct, separate.

But are these forces opposing?

I'm not sure, but I do know that I struggle to find a balance between the two within me.
Sensual.
Spiritual. (links are my artwork, colored pencil)

As a High School artist, I did a lot of spiritual art work. For AP I did 12 pieces on revelation. It was a remarkable experience. I loved it. It made me happy. I want to continue it, to paint angels forever, to paint in churches and in temples. (and be worthy of the Temple)

But I am becoming a college student in the field. By going to BYU I somewhat control my exposure to the sensual. At the Art Institue of Boston I no doubt would have faced more carnal, raw . . . art all the time. (this was not the determining factor between schools) But I can't avoid this lure. There is beauty in it. And it is part of the artist. Utah can not change that. Jory Dayne is serving a mission, and yet his art is still somewhere between the two forces, clearly influenced by both the sensual and the spiritual (these two links are the work of Jory Dayne from his website www.jorydayne.com)

Perhaps the sensual is not wrong. What do you think? The body is a temple of itself. It is the image of God- could it be any more beautiful? So can it be wrong to give such beauty expression in art however raw? Ahhh! The struggle rages onwards.

One thing I know. God lives. I want my art work, no matter how secular, to always honor God. To always please him. It is my purest form of worship. Does that make it the more enticing for Satan to pervert?

(Links to my artwork Here)

Alright. I think I'm set with the tagline and will stop making changes to the site.

I am speaking at my Church this Sunday at 11:30. I'd love for anyone who can to come because it will be my last talk at home before I get called on a mission. It's 15 Port Clinton (The Buffalo Grove Stake Center (1st Ward) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

PS. Taking Back Sunday will be in concert with Fall Out Boy and Matchbox Romance, anyone wanna see them in Salt Lake City October 6th?

Edit: I lied. I changed it again. This time I made the background stripes. If the stripes make it too hard to read, let me know! And if the yellow is too obnoxiously cheerful, I will revert back to the simple blue-gray tones. I initially did blue stripes:
but discovered that no matter what color I made the text, it was impossible to read. So I tried yellow:
but that was too intense, so I went with this slightly crooked pattern:

It's not that I'm bored- I have a lot of stuff I need to do. It's not that I have no life- I am doing a lot with friends this week. It's not that I'm addicted to xanga- I'm not in denial . . . It's that I am searching for some kind of identity that will be the same here and away at School. Wow that sounded dorkier than I wanted. Oh well.

Edit Again: And this is the last time I promise. Despite yellow being my favorite color, and despite it making my site so cheery and bright and like my personality, I am going back to a more nuetral look and feel, and then will force myself not to change it for a month at least.

Hope you like the new site . . .tell me if it's too banana like. And I'm working on the tagline.

I now have three new profile pictures:

Bought stuff for school today (including a yellow shirt with stripes that is sooooo cool). Had a good conversation with my brother about Emo music and indie clothes, and then bought a new CD. Fall Out Boy:

"Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentlemen. Maybe he won't find out what I know: You were the last good thing about this part of town." (Grand Theft Autumn)

"Two more weeks, my foot is in the door. I can't sleep in the wake of Saturday . . ." (Saturday)

"Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say . . . These friends are, new friends are golden." (Homesick at Spacecamp)

If there was a smilie that conveyed the face of one struggling not to annalyze songs, I would put that smilie here. I'm in a good mood. Slightly slap happy cause no one came to the pool today.

Anyway. While on the topic of music, I made myself an August CD:

She Will Be Loved (Maroon 5)
On The Way Down (Ryan Cabrera)
Collide (Howie Day)
Only One (Yellowcard)
Jaded (Mest)
Grand Theft Autumn (Fall Out Boy)
Saturday (Fall Out Boy)
Homesick At Spacecamp (Fall Out Boy)
This Photograph Is Proof (Taking Back Sunday)
The Sound (Further Seems Forever)
Snowbirds and Townies (Further Seems Forever)
stratus (moments in grace)
Age Six Racer (Dashboard Confessional)
Push (Matchbox Twenty)
Meant to Live (Switchfoot)
Dare You to Move (Switchfoot)
Beware (Lucky Boys Confusion)
Atari (Lucky Boys Confusion)
South Union (Lucky Boys Confusion)
Broken (Lucky Boys Confusion)
Shimmy shimmy quarter turn (Hellogoodbye)
Dear Jamie...Sincerely Me (Hellogoodbye)

P.S. my Xanga is due for a total makeover for school. Will do tomorrow.

I went to Great America today and had a lot of fun. (will come back later to ellaborate).

*Edit*
It was pretty crowded, but then again the weather was perfect and it's august. We rode all the rides except for Viper and Iron Wolf. Margaret was going to force to me to ride iron wolf, but then she decided to try and convince me to ride the Dare Devil Dive. The Dare Devil Dive is somewhat like a bungee jump thing- you jump off with a cable and then freefall and swing like a pendulum. I did not want to do it. I was petrified. I was talking a million miles an hour about how freaky it was. But somehow Margaret convinced me to do it.

So I did.

It was amazing. I felt like I was flying (which is a big deal to me). It made my stomach lurch and my heart squeeze. In a way the rush was similiar to praying about the Book of Mormon after reading it. Only this was shorter and more temporal. But none the less it was amazing.

Also waited forever to go on Superman. I decided that the Dare Devil Dive is better than Superman, which also gives a flying sensation if more structured. Still, I do love superman at night. What a ride.

My parents yelled at me for spending the whole day there, which just frustrates me. I know that they need extra help cause of Jonathan, but a. I didn't take the car, b. My dad and two siblings spent the weekend in Hawaii while I stayed home to take care of the little ones and work, c. I'm leaving in 20 days. Oh well, what can I do. I'm not super brother.

Well I'm going to go sleep and dream about flying like Peter Pan.

At the passing of Elder Maxwell, my father predicted that we would see a string of Apostles go soon. I had no idea how soon he meant.

David B. Haight, an Aposlte of the Lord Jesus Christ, passed away this past week (1906-2004). I honor his memory.

I loved Elder Haight. His testimony was sweet and sincere. I can still hear his voice as I remember his conference talks. I can picture his mannerisms- the way he would wet his lips, close his eyes. He was a beloved man of God, a special witness of Jesus Christ.

On the topic of Apostles, I listened to an old conference talk that has always left me in tears. It's such a good one, read it here: The Grandeur of God It's by Jeffrey R. Holland and its about the nature of God. It's a great one to listen to.

Today I recieved a blessing and gave my first blessing. I ordained my brother to the office of Priest. It was a remarkable experience, one that has taught me two ways that the author of priesthood blessings is God, our loving Father in heaven. Of this I am sure.

I made pineapple pancakes after church. . . mmmm, soo good, but tooo sweet. lol. I'm getting old.

25 Days Left.