Lalala . . . "breath in for luck, breath in so deep . . . My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, So won't you kill me, so I die happy . . . My heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and the walk that we shared together . . . and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it." (dashboard confessional)

*sigh*

I just feel good, like in ways I haven't felt in so long and this time, this time I'm ready.

BYU VICTORY OVER NOTRE DAME!!! (where it really counts http://www.byucougars.com/swimming_diving/filings/0000004475_res.html)

Yeah, def. in a bubbly mood.

So . . . weekend update . . .

I was very excited for Friday.  Wished Jana happy birthday, doctors appointment, and then I ditched Swim Practice to go see the Musical "How to suceed in buisiness without really trying" with Lauren and Jeff and Dana.  After that I had planned on catching up with the other swimmers to go and TP the girls' houses for sectionals.  Though I had a really good time at the show, it went way to long (and there were def. scenes that should have been cut), so I wasn't done until 11.  Tried to go to Wendy's with Lauren, and was crushed.  Tried to meet up with swimmers, but couldn't get a hold of Hudnull's cell.  By the end of the night I was wallowing in self-pity and regret singing "What it is to Burn" and "As if We Never Said Goodbye."  I was wondering why I let everything I wanted slip through my fingers and why . . . and if . . .

Saturday my dismay was definately hanging over my head.  Got new shoes for weight room.  Timed sectionals (slightly boring, slightly fun, terribly long), got grief for not going the night before.  Celibrated my Aunts birthday.  Why am I talking in fragments?

Anyway, then I forced myself to go to the "Dance Card" Dance.  I was prepared to have a jolly old rotten time.  I was still crushed.  I got a slight boost of self-esteem when I filled my dance card after 30 seconds of walking into the dance.  There literally was a line.  It felt great at first until Dana showed up and asked me to take her to Lauren's party.  I really wanted to go.  Really really.  But I couldn't ditch the girls I had signed up to dance with.    So Dana went with her cousin.  Promised to be back in 20.  Def. never returned.

Anyway, I'm so glad I didn't go. I continued to have kindof a whateva time.  I was mad at people leaving and mad about the weekend . . . and then I started noticing this one girl.  I really started thinking she was cute at the Prow's party, but I didn't really think much of it, until last Sunday when I realized she was still cute.  She was making funny faces  at me from the choir and I was trying not to laugh.  So anyway I started having fun dancing with her . . . and we started talking.  She was telling about how she had stashed her stuff in the mother's lounge, and so I asked if she was a mother.  Turns out she said she was, and I was the father.  I was like oh, cool, only, how could that be.  Well, as it turned out, she had def. leid me earlier that night . . . so . . . anyway.  Funny stuff.  (Leid as in hawaiian flower lei thing . . . )  Anyway . . .

We named our baby (a little bin of 180 twizzers) Wizz.  Yeah.  moving on . . .

So I started to in a not fun situation have tons of fun and I was getting all like "what do I do" "what do I say" etc.  One dance I was dancing with some girl and she was dancing with Brad Shupple who's a really good dancer and I was getting all jealous . . . so I started spinning my partner and stuff to say that "see I can dance too!"   But as we danced more slow songs with her I started feeling really comfortable and romantic .  And now I'm bubbly.

So today I had tons of fun in Church . . . Mary and Niechel tried to kidnap me during Sunday school to pump me for information on the night before   So lalala BYC lalala . . .called Ashley  lalala . . .

Ok . . . The 3 most obnoxious things in the World:

Food- eating is such a chore and no matter how much I eat, it is never enough
Sleep- Yet again, no matter how much I get, it is never enough
Time- it never ends, and yet still there is never enough . . .

If I were to make it a top 5 I'd throw in money and energy . . . motivation and spelling aren't far behind . . . oh, so many evil obnoxious things.

Anyway . . .

Friday: Timed girls Swim Meet (JV conference). LibertyVILE won, Stevenson 4th. Nathan was in town briefly. Finding Nemo at Prows leaves me happy.

Saturday: A Memorial for Lauren Hermany. So many smiles and tears. 4th Period is eternal and cannot loose to food, sleep, or time . . . more felt, therefore less said. Football Game=sore subject.

Sunday: Stake Conference, hometeaching.

Monday: Happy Birthday Lauren Dowd! Oh my goodness I love you. Where would we be without you this year?! I'm glad Dana and I could surprise you . . . your Dad was hilarious. He and JP def. need to get together! Wow . . . yAy! Conservatives! (Lauren's dad and I had a very animated and loud and sometimes spicy conversation about how horrible the liberal bias is at Stevenson [specifically with homosexuality] and how terrible it is that they censor our voice and teach our kids anti-ethics . . . yeah . . . so much I could soapbox on.) Wow! I've never . . . ok I have to stop. And Walker Bro's Dana was fun, thanks!

um, ok, Mon night after swim practice I went back to my locker and my lock had def. been ripped off and was now gone. No big deal, right? Happens all the time. Actually it was a bran new lock b/c my last lock was stolen like last week. GRRRRR! more stuff . . . oh. wait. the stupid monkey took my keys too! no keys in pocket. GRRRR. car keys, house keys, church key, Speed pass, and ¡¡¡BYU KEY CHAIN!!!! are gone!!!! It took me like an hour to find someone who could speak english and spanish. I was mad. Made a Police report. Grrr. But it's ok, the head security guard that night was LDS.

Tuesday: Paint Concentration # 4. YES! Darn it looks good! Me happy Then Paint Jessica's room. Then YM/YW. Go Elder Ballard! Refuse to be Used!!!!!! Let's kick those liberal media people's . . . wow, sorry, I just discovered new smilies . . . will stop. In just a sec.

Weds: Ok. Stop. Wierd mood. Happy Birthday Jessica! And Jackie! And Steve! And someone else I forgot. Lot's of people's birthday today. You'd think it was nearly nine months after valentines day or something. (I'm really sorry that I said that if it's your birthday today)

signing off.

Wow . . . sometimes I laugh at my own melodrama. It was good to see the kid back at school and well yesterday. It was kinda wierd having teachers stop me and the other "rescuers" and say things like "I heard you were quite the hero yesterday." I tell you, I didn't even recognize the kid we saved- he looked so different in color.

*in progress*

Life is so tangible. This entree is not for the faint of heart.

When I swim, especially on distance days like today, my mind will wander. Swimming in circles, passing black lines and rows of tiles, has a hypnotic effect that causes me to have these reoccuring images in my head. Often I'll put together my art ideas that way- with these images. Well today the image and its cold reality is still burned in my mind.

I, a pool leader, was teaching the freshmen how to rotate their arms in backstroke. It was seventh hour. My class was giving me a hard time because they thought the skills we were working on were too easy.

Ryan, another pool leader, was swimming towards me, holding a freshman. I thought that was strange, and I wondered what skill he was teaching or demonstrating. He was talking, I assumed to the freshman, but then he says, "Danny, I'm not kidding"

I ran to get a backboard. There was nothing but me and the backboard and then Ryan and this kid. When I return seconds later Megan is holding this kid, preparing to remove him. I wanted a whistle. It was the scariest thing not to be able to alert everyone to the situation. It was the kind of fear that never leaves you.

I slid the backboard next to him. Megan's grip was slipping, and for the first time I looked down at this kid. His lips were chalky and blue. It was a pale deep blue like a corpse, and I thought, I'm holding a corpse.

Unlike the pretend victims we train with, this kid's head was completely limp. I didn't know what to do. I helped Megan strengthen her grip, and then I held his right wrist and the backboard in one hand, and cusioned his head with the other. We pulled him out then. It didn't take much muscle, the hard part was in keeping the board under him.

Bubbles of mucus and water grew and popped in his mouth, parted like a dead fish. Water was leaking out of his mouth and over my hands. He was wearing googles, but I could see through them, and as I held his head and pulled him out I could only see the whites of his eyes.

We set him on the deck. His body was slightly rigid on the backboard. He wasn't moving. Someone took off his googles while Ryan checked his vitals. His eyes were glossy and white, even through the film they pierced you.

As water swelled out of his mouth and nose in big round gushes, I held the most desperate prayer in my heart. The scene didn't feel real. After one big spew of water, he was able to breathe, but I felt no relief because he wasn't moving or responding. All it meant was that we could not do cpr or use the defibrilater.

The most disturbing thing were his unfocused eyes. He wasn't looking at anything in this world.
I am sorry that I am being so graphic. I need to get this out; maybe I will make it a private entree.

We were asking him who he was and where he was. No response, although I thought I might have seen him nod. Mr. Schauble came with oxygen, put the mask on him, and began administering the oxygen.

This brought him back. It was one of the biggest miracles I've ever seen. It was like watching a corpse, wet and white and blue twitch and slowy come back. Other leaders were circling the area with towels and mask and tanks and everything. I thought that as he regained conciousness, he might need space, so I backed off and got most of the leaders to follow me. Slowly this kid's story began to unfold.

Apparently Ryan and Sarah noticed that he was missing. He was the kind of kid who would swim under the bulk heads (dividers between the two sides of the pool that extend 4 feet below the surface) to hide or join another class a joke. It was inspiration that lead Ryan to find the kid and bring him to the surface. Details remain unclear. Some, even Ryan at first, still thought it was a joke. This kid owes his life to Ryan.

Wrapped in towels, he regained control over his body as EMS arrived.

That is the scene that replays itself in my head. That was the white and blue image that flashed with every stroke during practice. I'm glad the kid is okay. I'll find out tomorrow what happened at the hospital.

My November CD kicks butt! Just ask Gina!

Feeling This- Blink-182
You Don't Mean Anything- Simple Plan
I'm Just A Kid- Simple Plan
When I'm With You- Simple Plan
Stacy's Mom- Fountains of Wayne
Rooftops- Mest
Without You- Mest
Here Without You- 3 Doors Down
Good (I've Got a Lot to Learn)- Dakona
Follow Through- Gavin DeGraw
Meet You There- Simple Plan
Take Me Away- Lifehouse
Again I go unoticed- Dashboard Confessional
What it is to Burn- Finch
I'd Do Anything- Simple Plan
Bigger Than My Body- John Mayer
Grow Up (with hidden track)- Simple Plan
I Won't Be There- Simple Plan
My Alien- Simple Plan
One Day- Simple Plan

I had a big weekend, hopefully I'll be able to ellaborate later. For one thing, I narrowed my college search from one to three places.