August 9, 2003

• Well, until I finally made Andy’s party I was pretty much content to curl up and die, but now I’m gonna be just fine . . . lol, let me tell you about it . . .
  
  Yesterday wasn’t so bad actually, but that didn’t stop me from getting really depressed (as Heather and Dana will attest). I worked the opening shift, and then it was time for Dan R.’s Birthday party. It was pretty fun- Lake Forest Beach and all. Got to see all the BG2 people, and to catch up with Mary, Dana, and Gina. Actually, talking to Dana for a while on the rocks really helped me out. And watching the water come over and through the rocks with the spray and the sounds and everything has always been something I’ve enjoyed. Then Andy arrived, and so Dana and I left the rocks to socialize again and swing for a little bit and the party moved on from there. For a few moments Andy and I escaped to go back and climb those big rocks. I had fun, but even still, late that night Heather and Dana were telling me to get a grip- one that didn’t come until today.
  
  I woke up this morning tired and grumpy as I went to work. Only 2 people came to the pool today. It was gray and misty. It felt more like a Monday then a Friday. And of course, much like a Monday, the car refused to start when I got off at 3. Plans to get a haircut went down the drain as I called home. Plans to work on AP went down the drain as I discovered my dad was busy working and my mom was sick. To stall, I got some food across the street. Eventually my mom came by and we tried to jump the car.
  
  Soon we discovered that the battery that was original to the 1997 avalon should be replaced every 5 years. No wonder the battery was fried. Plans to go to Andy’s party at 6 also began to fade. I was not in a good mood. I was mad at the world, and the world was mad at me. Haley was still wailing from Thursday, and Thomas was drowned in Luce’s laughter over the traffic that stood between me and a new battery.
  
  By the time we had changed the battery and everything, it was somewhat late, and so James and I got to Andy’s party around 8. Being so late wasn’t too bad, other than Weggs surprised me. I didn’t think he got home until tomorrow.
  
  After a while, Dana, Nichole, and I decided we wanted to leave for some ice cream. Jeff, Weggs, Martin, and Martin’s legs joined us as we snuck away to the new Culver’s. Ran into two jerks from Lake Zurich . . . it was, interesting. They said some things that got me thinking (that happens when you insult two of the things that mean so much to me). Actually, by the time we had returned to the party (minus, Weggs, Martin, and Legs), I was hearing and seeing things that sent me deep into thought. At first I was upset and set off to listen to Iris or Dashboard or something, but then Dana knocked some sense into me, and it hit. Suddenly I had this epiphany of understanding. Something that had been bothering me all summer made sense for once. I’m not quite over it yet, but I will now because I understand.
  
  I feel a little bit like that commercial.- you know, the “parents: the anti-drug” one where there’s all these teens saying things like, “mom” “dad” “you invaded my privacy” “you pushed” “I pushed back” “I hated it” “I hated you” . . .
  
  “thanks”
  
  yeah, that commercial is my reaction to the way God has been letting things happen to me all summer. So that’s my friday. Now I’m just singing Nickleback’s “someday” to myself. Anyway . . . now with all this understanding I’m thinking Haley is going to start diminishing. Pitty it had to happen before Heather caught on

  • 12:47 am
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