And I’m off- time to get everything in the car. Guess what though . . . I finally found my edited Eve 6 Horrorscope CD! yAy! I had forgoten that it had been my favorite, I haven’t listened to it in a while . . .
“Why gotta keep the fan on high when it’s cold outside. Just wanna let you know that I’m still a fan. Get it?”
“I know her worried head is aching, I know the cause is me . . . I got a bone to pick with reality.”
“I heard a bang, and stars collided, her skin drew me in just like a magnet . . . I took a one way highway, headed west- heavenbound, never thought once to turn ’round”
I used to think that last one was a reference to the pioneers . . . yeah, it’s definately talking about California. That’s ok though 
Good music, well, great tunes. Looking back there are some questionable lyrics. Skip tracks 3 and 4, even edited . . . 
I burned 7 CD’s for the road . . . everything from “love me while I’m gone” to “I would give everything, to be your everything . . .”
P.S. If you catch yourself thinking about any of those lyrics more than 10 seconds, stop! 
Month: June 2003
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I don’t care what you say, I have come to the conclusion that we need censorship in this nation. It is ridiculous. There needs to be laws that limit what one can wear according to weight, age, and state of mind.
Monday- picture a 300 pound lady in the pool- I mean huge. She decides to pull her staps off of her shoulders so that she doesn’t get a wierd tan line. yeah. My boss was visiting, she leans over to me and says, “watch out, you better hope one of those puppies doesn’t pop out” she started laughing (those “puppies” were bigger than my head- infact I think her fingers were as thick as my wrist) while I became petrified in my seat. She continued, “yeah, next thing I know I’ll be hearing that Dan’s been dating guys because of tramatic life guarding experiences with fat ladies.” Sure enough, she didn’t put her straps back on as she climbed out of the pool, and it started to slide . . . I shut my eyes for the next five min . . . like I said, that should not be legal.
Wendsday- an old guy, white hair in his ears and everything decides that he wants to wear a speedo. Again, age should be a factor in determining who can wear spandex and similar articles or clothing.
Today- this tops them all. This guy walks in, and he looks really wierd- the kind of person you really don’t want to know what is going on between his ears. He hands me his pool pass, and the picture on it was one of him shirtless over a zebra stripe and lepord skin backdrop- it had been cut so that it was shoulder up, but it was still kinda creepy. I still didn’t think much of it until I was scrubing the pool tiles and noticed that he was now sunbathing in what apeared to be hanes boxer briefs, and his left nipple was pierced. I started gagging, and luckily it was 3:00 and the next guard was there to replace me. Definately not kosher.
So that is why I support censorship. There are some things that should never be seen. Those are 3 of them. Someday I’m going to be a politician I’ll write the law, but until then I’ll just have to gripe at it on xanga. -
Well, for starting out so bad, today ended pretty gwell. I’ll just dwell on the good, and skip work, whick sucked.
Took a much needed nap, and then I visted the Lincolnshire Swim Club. It felt so good to talk to the gaurds I’d worked with last year! Ya gotta love Mellisa Fetter, and Jiggits- good laughs. I miss that place so much. I should go back more often, I gotta start swimming. And rowing. So I don’t embarass myself with Andy- I mean Nephi- kiaking. hehe
After that I was off to Youth Group, rejuvenated from a cool shower. Guess who I got to follow half the way? Jill! It was so good to see her again- I hadn’t seen her since school. *sigh* some good times.
Young Men’s tonight was a bbq party at the Prows’s. Good times. I met Andy’s infamous Lori, and Michael Chow was there- haven’t seen him since last summer. hehe, some good history there. Stole a CD from Andy, good stuff- simple plan, phantom planet, MxPx, and def. loving the dashboard confessional:
“Please tell me you’re just feeling tired
cause if it’s more than that I feeel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed . . .”
definately said those words to myself in the past.
Right now I feel like Simple Plan’s “I like to stay up late/spend hours on the phone/hangin’ out with all my friends/and never being at home/i’m inpoilte and i make fun of everyone/i’m inmature but i’ll stay this way forever/until the day i die i promise i wont change/so u better give up” -
My weekend update . . .
Sunday:
Sacrament meeting was very good today. I really felt the Spirit, and was touched by the speakers. Allison spoke on controlling your thoughts- a topic I needed to hear. Sister Rider (sp?) spoke on missionary work- a topic I wanted to hear. And some one from the high council spoke on getting out of debt- a topic that was irrelevant to me personally, but that for some reason carried a spirit just as strong as the others. I was reminded of how much I love the Church, and how much it helps us in our daily lives. I felt so refreshed.
And in priest quorum, we covered the Bishop’s desk with starburst wrappers, and I was reminded of how much fun I have had with my brothers and sisters in the Church. I felt so loved, and I don’t care if that sounds cheesy.
*sigh* I am exausted today. I need another nap.
Thursday-Saturday was Youth Conference . . .
Thursday:
For youth conference this year we had been putting together a dance to perform. Thursday was many hours of practicing, finalizing, and putting together that dance. It was stressful, I loved working with Brother Bodily. And the dance is fun, even if sometimes I think our both the BG 1st and 2nd wards are A.D.D. Some people just don’t know how to listen. Oh well.
After the practice, we went to stay with our host families. I went with Jeff P, Andy I, A.J. S, Brad S, and Andrew– we stayed at the Prows’ house. It was fun– despite my dislike of AJ. We had pizza and ice cream as AJ hacked onto the computer. We visited Andy’s 9.9 rating on hotornot.com, and then we went to the basement.
We started with a little pool to get things started, and then Jeff, AJ, and Andy started playing “ball-ball”- a game where they take turns chucking a ball at eachother. First one to his knees loses. He he, it was interesting to watch. There were some good ball shots. I wish I had a better arm- I would have joined in then.
From there we played “topless ping pong” (no, Gina was not there) We played 2 against 2, and for every point lost, you were hit with a ping pong ball. They left some nice donut welts, let me tell you. It was sooo much fun, in a strange way. Something about the pain was addicting, but man, I sucked at it. As AJ, JP, and Andy will attest.
We played ping pong until Andy accidently let go of his paddle and it smacked Jeff across the forehead. We went to sleep just before 3. I slept on the floor– which was extremely hard and uncomfortable, so I didn’t particularly enjoy those 4 hours of sleep I got.
Friday:
Friday was the most fun I had. It had it’s down moments, but it also had some of the best. ” . . . It still brings a smile to my face . . .” (the Ataris).
Anyway, we went the beach party on Lake Michigan. It was a little cold, but it was sunny, and we had a good time. Played some football. I scraped up my foot on that disgusting sand. hehe, that just reminded me of Gina and Andy’s sand fight. Good times, good times.
You know, despite being surrounded by so many of my good friends (Andy, Jeff Prows, Gina, Dana, Megan, among others), I really missed Weggs. I remember him at some of the other beach parties– I missed those walks with him where I could get so much lifted. I needed those- without something to lift the stress, it just sits there making me . . . I don’t know. I guess it turns into little voices that make me crazy- no, unwell.
The Sweetwoods took us back to the church- a fun car trip if way longer than it should have been, and despite being exausted. Saw Brother Smith on the way home. Listened to some good music . . . I’m stealing the CD from Andy, and will let you know when I burn the next CD with it all. I’m liking that Simple Plan song, “I’d do anything” more and more everytime I hear it . . . at this rate, by September I’ll be so obessed with it I will hear nothing else, I will bleed that song. lol, but seriously *sigh*
Anyway, we made a nice emergency stop for JP– the poor guy was really suffering in that traffic let me tell you.
We returned to the Prows’ to get the sand off of us. And then we were off to the Church.
We practiced the performance a bit, and then ate dinner. After that, there was a devotional to tie the dance to the gospel and inspire us right before our performance.
I love Brother Bodily. You don’t even have to speak very long with him, just standing next to him is inspiring. He has really left my in awe of mankind’s potential- in everything. Those words used to describe Captain Moroni in the Book of Mormon keep coming to my mind.
“If all men . . . were . . . like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would [be] shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men” (Alma 48:17).
Brother Bodily is such a man. If we could all be like him, there would be no end to our sucess; there would be no limit to our potential. I am so grateful for the latter-day “Captain Moroni-like” figures we have to lead us.
Our performance friday night was great, despite a few kinks in the finale. It was so much fun. I was pleasantly surprised.
After the show, there was a dance. It was alright, despite the fact that I ditched the first part of it. Andy left for the dance to go to his best friend’s graduation party, and I just wanted some time to myself. During Youth Conference, I did spend more hours dancing than sleeping anyway. Besides, the little people were acting up. Luce wouldn’t stop singing that stupid song in my ear– “suffication, no breathing, this is my last resort” I loathe that song. I hate it more than “your body is a wonderland.” I don’t know how it got in my head- I don’t listen to it. Someone must have mentioned it, or that phrase, or something. And Haley kept trying to battle it with Simple Plan, “another day is going by, I’m thinking about you all the time, but you’re out there, and I’m here waiting. And I, I wrote this letter in my head, cause so many things were left unsaid, but now you’re gone, and I can’t think straight . . .” But that didn’t work. It only made Luce laugh- “haha, you can’t think straight” ::snarl:: Ahhh! The little people!
After I pulled myself together, I went back to the dance where I danced with Emily and some others. I’m going to miss Emily; she’s moving to Nauvoo in a few days.
Jeff drove us back to his house. Things were really lame until Andy showed up. Jeff reminded us of our long awaited rematch. Remember when I beat Andy wrestling a while back? Well, he had sworn vengence on me and demanded a rematch, so we went at it. It was quite the struggle, let me tell you. Jeff and AJ were quick to point out that it really didn’t look good, and I must admit, it was a little . . . what’s the word?– sketchy? lol, it made for some good laughs though. The wrestling went on for a long time, no one could pull off more than a 2 sec. pin. We were just too evenly matched. Andy did this one move where he fliped me– it was really cool. But the rug burned, our muscles were sore, and we were drenched in eachothers sweat. He called for a draw, and I accepted the tie reluctantly. It was fun though.
Jeff then killed AJ in a short and sweet match. That guy is ripped, let me tell you.
Andy and I relaxed the rest of the night- we were pretty sore. We just talked and drank our milk as everyone else went to sleep. We stayed up a while talking– something that has been a tradition over the past few years. I refused to sleep on the floor, so Andy gave me half the couch– it was so much better than the night before on the carpeted concrete. And that was Friday.
Saturday:
I ran over to Andy’s house after showering and eating pancakes to borrow a pair of pants. My only pair had gotten sweaty the night before. I need to go shopping.
Saturday was by far the most spiritual of the three days. Our morning was devoted to learning and listening to various speakers.
Elder Hicken, a general authority who happens to be my orthodontist, gave the opening message. I was really touched by it, and felt very happy through the whole thing.
His message adressed the theme from chapter 31 of 2nd Nephi. It is an amazing chapter, and he illistrated it so beautifully. For example, often when we read the scriptures that tell us to enter the
“strait and narrow path” after baptism, we picture an even, fair, straight path between two points. Such is not the case. You will notice a difference in spellings between strait and straight. The former doesn’t not necessarily refer to a line that is uncrooked. Rather, it describes a narrow passage or path between obstacles, as in the narrow body of water between land masses. That makes more sense to me. That is life, that is the path home. It is not a straight line into heaven, rather, it is a treacherous journey between jagged rocks that threaten our divine nature. It is easy to walk in a straight line, but it not easy to walk the narrow passage of life.
Even so, I bear testimony to Elder Hicken’s promise that “if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the words of Christ, and endure to the end . . . ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20).
I attended 3 other classes- one on missionary work; one on premortal and mortal identity and divine nature; and one on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In the latter we learned that Nephi was “fine,” and Andy commented that I looked kind of like Nephi. Then we learned that he was “ripped,” and so Andy decided that he fit the mold better and has taken to calling himself Nephi.
The highlight of every Youth Conference (and EFY too for that matter) seems to be the Testimony Meeting. While this was not the best one I’ve been to, I felt the Spirit strong. It was very sweet and warm, and I most definately cried as the Spirit bore witness to me of the divinity of Jesus Christ, who lives and loves me. That ecstasy of emotional sensation bore witness of his restored Gospel, found complete in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I bore my testimony of the Priesthood, sharing with my stake the gratitude I felt for being able to work with Brother Bodily and Brother Schuple, and to hear from Elder Hicken and President Evans. I know that their Priesthood is divinely real, and that their teachings will lead to happiness. This Youth Conference they were more than just my Church Leaders, as Brother Bodily- Lynn- pointed out, they were my friends. That man has inspired me to higher potentials, and I am so grateful for the chance to have felt the Spirit with all of them.
Our Saturday performance was by far the best. I was so happy through our waltz. I could feel the stress and tension lifting, despite my anxiety after the performance.
I went outside for the first part of the dance and took many a walk. I sat in the grass near the Stake offices out back, and just watched the sky thinking of my friends and wishing Weggs was there to talk to him about them. I needed the walks with him back so desperately.
The stupid voices in my head were acting up to fill the void. Haley quoted areosmith, “I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep . . .” and Luce just sat there laughing while Mervin moaned as usual. When I finally tuned them out, I returned to the dance, where I found a little comfort in Megan. After another walk, I returned to the dance and had a lot of fun dancing.
People actually danced. I was amazed. It was fun. Had I not been down from things, it would have been the best dance I had ever been to. Which was good- it was Andy’s last stake dance. It was good to see him having such a good time. I tell you, the confidence of everybody was great, and people knew what to do. I had so much fun experimenting with all the stuff we had learned with Megan. And I enjoyed dancing with Emily.
As the dance ended, I sudenly realized why we had Youth Conference. It was for us to bond as a youth, for us to gain confidence in our ability and in our potential. It was for us to share in eachothers testimony of Jesus Christ, for us to learn through dancing that discipline, hard work, unity, patience, long-suffering, communication, and faith accomplished great things- that by enduring to the end, we could experience joy greater than anything else. I have never seen the youth of our stake so active, so happy, and so close to eachother as I did that night. As Brother Schuple said, this youth conference has changed stake dances forever. It did more than that, if changed the youth forever. I only wish I had been more prepared personally to partake of the blessings of that Youth Conference.
Though the dance was over at 10, I didn’t get to go home until after 11:30 because I had to help clean up. That’s what you get for having a dad in the Stake Young Men’s presidency. *sigh* It was long, but well worth it. I will treasure the smiles of Youth Conference forever.
and that is my long report on the weekend. if you are interested in my fellow Youth at church, check out our Ward Youth Website at bg1.shorturl.com -
So, who wants to hear my crazy pool story today?
Well to bad, I’m telling you anyway. I had the opening shift today- 9 to 3. It was kinda annoying just because it was so warm, and still nobody showed up. It was hovering above 90 degrees- man was it hot today. And it was perfectly still, I’m telling you- not a breeze, well maybe occasionally a light breeze- but no wind! Hot, humid, and still.
And then, all of a sudden, while I was talking with the one patron at the pool, a huge gust of wind came. A big gust– and it filled one of the large table umbrellas. I saw the umbrella sway and I ran to it- those things are at least 4 or 6 hundred dollars a piece. As I tried desperately to crank it closed, the thing lifted off the ground like the sail of a ship. The wind then carried the umbrella, the table, and me (my guess is that’s 200 pounds) across the pool deck. At one point my whole body was off the ground as I clung desperately to the umbrella, which had carried the big table 10 yards at least. It nearly nocked me into the pool, but I tried to manuver it away from the pool as I was screaming for the other patron to shut the other umbrellas. Papers were flying everywhere in the howling wind- and as I held the umbrella, its metal branches began to bend, snap, and fly all over the pool deck. The wind that had appeared out of no where finally died down, leaving the umbrella mangled and in serval pieces– completely destroyed. The table was a long way from where it started, and some of the little tables had blown across the pool by themselves. The furnature was a mess, and the clouds were all of a sudden building rapidly out of the blue. I was not a happy camper– I was freaked out of my wits.
Guess who heard the wind and decided to come by to ask me to close the umbrellas? None other than Ed, the old and obnoxious president of the Pool Board. He saw the umbrella, said the “s” word 50 times and then started going off on how he knew this was going to happen and how the umbrellas shouldn’t have been raised etc. etc. etc. I thought he was going to murder me.
Then there was thunder. Guess who called. Margaret– my boss. Lucky, the freak wind gust wasn’t isolated to the Old Farm Village Pool. She also experienced the gust and thunder, and was very understanding. I asked if I should close the pool– my shift was over in 10 min. anyway. She said no, Kirt was coming to replace me and she wanted him to work since he had been slacking off and annoying patrons.
It wasn’t long before a freak storm then pelted me with rain, soaking all of my things which had previously been under an umbrella.
I have learned my lesson: stop wishing for excitement at work. I should have known that there would be none by the name of the pool/complex– Old Farm Village.
*sigh*
P.S. JP- how’s that for Drama? -
I’ve been a bit lax on my entrees . . .
Monday:
I had been invited to go to Six Flags Great America a while back, and really wanted to go. After much unnecessary stress, my dad found a great deal to get a season pass. He called Dominicks and told me that I could a season pass there for $68 or something like that.
Well, I had to work first, 9 to 3. Patrons were obnoxious, let me tell you. Anyway– the life guard who was supposed to replace me was really really late. I was pretty annoyed at that- my boss and I had been talking about him earlier though, and so his tardiness confirmed the promise that I would get some of his hours since he was slacking and I wanted 40 a week. I digress.
So after work I went to Dominicks. They tell me that they haven’t sold Six Flags tickets in over a year and that I should go to Jewel. GRRRRRR. I wasn’t in a good mood. I go to Jewel. They ring up the pass, and then ask me for $87. I was steaming at this point, but rather than endure the stress of not going to Great America and having to go home instead, I coughed up the money. Wincing. By the time I got my Wendy’s and paid the $10 parking at Six Flags, I had pulled way to much money out of my account for one afternoon.
Great America was so much fun though- with the Prow’s, the Cook’s, and half of the Penrose’s- oh, and Colin. Good times. Superman the ride is awesome- I went on it twice. By the time we had left the park and gone to two Wendy’s it was pretty late; I got home around 11:30. It was a much needed escape, let me tell you- while the money was painful to give up, I would have paid twice that to get my load of stress lifted.
Tuesday:
Just got back from Great America! Two days in a row! yAy! I went with Heather this time- from 8 to 9ish. Good times. We also had dinner at Chili’s. I was grateful for the chance to spend some time with Heather because I don’t think I’ll be able to see her for two and a half weeks. That is not good- I’m upset that I haven’t been able to see her more this summer as it is. *sigh*
All in all, though, I’m in a pretty good mood– although the little people in my head* have been driving me nuts lately! I’ve been so spacey tonight- And everybody’s been laughing at me because of the little people. I’d like to see you try to deal with conflicting voices in your head! They’re annoying.
Luce won’t stop mocking me- he stop’s laughing only to quote songs** obnoxiously, “I am a seed that you planted in stone. Left for dead, now heaven’s calling me home . . .”
Mervin is probably the most annoying of all– he won’t stop moaning. I rarely can get him to stop complaining. I hear him singing, “watch the clock, but it’s not moving, ’cause everyday is never endng . . .” all while Luce laughs cruely and Haley scratches that darn itch. Gall it’s so annoying, all the scratching, and then it’s, “I’m so hungry I could die; I need the power you supply– my obsession is complete . . . ” Yeah, definately shivers up the spine.
Thomas is the most bearable, although sometimes his good spirits get annoying. There was comfort in his, “If you miss me, have no fear. I’ll be here; I’ll be waiting. . . ” I wanted to slap him, though, when he said, “I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost, that you returned, but you’re past where you understand.”
Henry’s not much better than Mervin, he’s always so darn paranoid. Anything and everything is such a big deal to him, and he’s always jumping. It’s Luce’s fault- he’s always trying to scare Henry, as he whispers, “So you think I’ve lost control, have I hit the wall?” ” . . . Now your secret is out . . .” Grrr.
For the most part, though, I was able to manage them all, until one of them went too far with, “How long will I be waiting, until the end of time? I don’t know . . .” ::snarl:: I shut them up then midsentence.
*note: I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
**warning: Analyzation of the application of lyrics and/or little voices is strictly forbidden due to the tendency of multiple parties to misapply and/or misinterpret the said application.
band’s quoted are: Stereo Fuse, Simple Plan, Earth to Andy, Third Eye Blind, Matchbox Twenty -
Today has not been the best day in what is not the best week. *sigh*
First, I lost my keys. I was an hour and a half late to work, and I still don’t know wear my keys are. I am in such big trouble if I can’t find them.
Then, My mom (who has made me give up many plans and leisures to serve her while she is sick) sent me off on some errands. While I was driving, some guy nearly killed me and I had to swerve off the road to spare my life (or perhaps the cars, it being more valuable). To make a long story short, I ended up on dartmouth lane, where I used to live many many years ago. I decided to drive by my old house, hoping I could find some comfort in old memories.
The house had been destroyed. No, my home had been. The house still stood, though the large maple in front that filled the yard was gone. The flowerbeds changed. The house was not being taken care of by the guy with long hair who looked mean who lived there. And worst of all . . . there was a Gore-Leiborman sign in the window. I started to cry. It was horrible!
Anyway, I decided to see if I could find Adam Woodbury’s old house. I remember riding my bike there before and after he moved away when I was 8. He was my best friend up until he moved and I lost contact with him. Back then there was no e-mail or IM for 8 year olds. (lol- I feel wierd saying that).
Anyway. Despite not knowing where I was going I ended up at his house without making any wrong turns. His house hadn’t changed. I had to park the car and walk around. It had the same brown paint- the same look (like it was going to fall down) that it had 9 years ago. The bushes were the same, with the crawl space underneath where we built our secret forts. The tree was the same– where the “fire station” used to be. I could almost see the station wagon in the driveway. I could almost smell the iron on the wax paper and leaves that we pressed. I could almost taste the homemake play dough, and I could hear Adam laughing as we talked about girls (hehehe) and watched the clouds on “our” hill in the park. The memories were overwhelming as I recounted to myself everything I could remember. When I got to my eighth year, I remembered him being at my baptism. It was the last event we shared before he moved. I was heartbroken to lose my best friend, and then Jeff Wegner moved in. In the same month. In fact, his first event with the ward was my baptism. Jeff left us tuesday.
You can imagine my emotions as I drove home. I was pretty shaken up from almost being killed and then remembering everything. Of course, when I walked in the door, it all faded away to, “Where were you and what took you so long?” *sigh* Women. That’s all I will say. -
Weggs left today at 8. I’ll be friends with him for 9 years this August. He really is my best friend. There is so much I had to say- so much I want to say, so much I want to remember. I keep typing it out, then deleting it, then retyping it, etc. etc. I guess Heather put it best: He’s not dead, and so I could write forever and still never finish unless the friendship ends. And since he’s not dead, not friendship is going to end. And I’m going to have force myself to be content with that as my entree. We’ll miss you Weggs.
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